Siroccan Premier Absconders with Tram for Nifty Jaunt

Last night in Bradford, the capital of Sirocco, after a seeburg, coke and burger fueled party ladies man and all round nuclear age lover and Siroccan Premier Daniel Anderson stole a tram from the 56 Tram Depot of the Siroccan National Tramways Company Limited.

Dressed in a penguin onesie, Mr Anderson proceeded to take the tram labeled No. 69 (which usually runs late night shifts) from its storage facility and drove it around the Bradford tram network.

One witness called A. S. Talker of St. Charlie said to the Guardian’s corespondent that Anderson was seen running the tram in the penguin onesie shouting “Noot noot” and “Ding Ding, this tram doesn’t stop for commie bastards”.

Siroccan authorities refused to comment on the incident but did say the following “Remove Commie, Sirocco Strong”.

This is not the first time that a head of state has stolen a vehicle or something, earlier this year Mr Yaroslav Mar the President of Lostisland stole a Royal Mail post van from a postman by the name of Pat whilst his beloved black and white cat was still inside the vehicle, and our very own King Astrid stole a train full of IKEA furniture after going on a bender consisting of Swedish meatballs and trashy 80′s music, they have yet to return the train to Zealandia Rail, and finally we also have to mention the sad case of the Premier of Landashir who due to rising costs associated with penguin feeding has had to move into a Scottish bathtub.

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Opinion: Annika Lindström on queerphobia

Annika Lindström, Editior*

I have a big fuck you to say, yes to van Dullahan, Mar and Fleeman.

First I’ll address Mar, the so called man of god who has alleged to be a minister of religion (or at the very least has at the time of writing this dressed up in a few photos as a vicar or whatever the Russian equivalent of that is). Mr Mar is it not modern day Christian teaching that said that we are all god’s creation and that god loves us all? or is it that god only loves those who are cis-gendered? or is it that because you have no empathy or refuse to understand something that you call it progressive bullshit? hell if we went by that train of thought we would still be in the damn middle ages.

Now on to Mr van Dullahan, your arguments against trans* people are classicist, queerphobic and frankly moronic.

To not recognise someone’s pronouns is in a sense to not recognise them as a person or recognise them as a lesser person, is that what you are seriously saying to people like me?

Not all people under the trans* umbrella want some kind or surgery or need it, or perhaps we wish to maintain something called bodily integrity, but hey ho fuck that because Braddles doesn’t understand something and demands action be taken to suit his needs.

Demanding surgery is classicist as it is only available to those who can afford such procedures essentially locking out thousands of transgendered people, it is also against some people’s bodily integrity and the right to maintain that and also does not respect all the people under the trans* umbrella.

Now I’ll finally address Trace Fleeman, the nazi;

Well there is a lot I could say about your views politically, but I’ll say this, all nazis deserve the ultimate fate of their leader, your views are trans* phobic and moronic as to be expected from a nazi, you are a disgrace to paganism and are no reflection of what the Norse would have been like.

Finally I would like to quote St Charlian president elect:

there is the possibility that you are mistaking “sex” with “gender”, which is not a problem, really, as many people grew up without a clear difference between the two (including me). Right now we are talking about the “gender” of a person, which is only slightly related to the sex of someone.

It’s a bit like mistaking “sex” with “sexuality”: even if a girl refers to herself as a “homosexual” because she likes people of the same sex, she will always remain “straight” because her vagina was made to reproduce (with another man’s penis, obviously)

 

*Annika Lindström is also the CEO of ZMG AB and Minister for State Security, Foreign Affairs and Society.

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Editorial: Feb. 8 2014

Håkon Lindström, Editor in Chief

So, looks like I need to educate some you arses again.

Lets get this one straight, you don’t get to determine a person’s gender identity or which loo they get to use, its none of your bloody business, nor is your right to demand someone use a certain loo because of the body parts they may have.

Now on to the assertion that there is only two genders (the gender binary), this is a load of shit, gender is a spectrum and not everyone fits neatly into the two little boxes at the end.

One person whom I shan’t name said that they didn’t believe in this as it couldn’t be scientifically proven (yet they believe in god), that is not the truth sir, psychologists have indeed worked out that gender is a spectrum and people don’t always fit nicely along it.

Let me give you a quick run down:
Gender is:

  • A range of expressions
  • A spectrum
  • How you relate to yourself
  • A personal identity

Gender is not:

  • Exclusively male or female
  • Defined or set out by what bits you have or haven’t got
  • Sexual orientation
  • Determined by what chromosomes you have

Above all, have a little decency and respect people’s identity and their preferred pronouns.

 

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St Charlie: oh dear what the hell happened man?

Editorial: Håkon av Zeelandien, Editor.

One is left wondering about St Charlie, it seems to me that it’s life force is hardly interested in it any more.  Its scary to think that a nation, Zealandia once hugely admired is to Zealandian eyes going down the tubes.  Reinhardt has feebly said to two separate heads of state that he thinks he doesn’t have enough time considering his university studies, I am not sure I can fully believe that considering the fact that their are many examples of fully engaged politicans who are either full time university students (such as myself, Sörgel and Anderson) or who have a full time job and families to look after.

Reinhardt decried me among others, when I dared to take on what I see is the fading St Charlian star, they waved an election in front of me claimed I was wrong, unfortunately I am still making a valid point and asking the question; St Charlie, what the hell happened to you man? you used to be cool.

Reinhardt has expressed his displeasure over the military policy of Eastwood’s “government”, if Reinhardt is serious about St Charlie, then I challenge him to run for President.   Reinhardt’s running and hopefully winning of a presidential election may be enough to save St Charlie from completely fading and its culture and politics from become a mere fond memory.

This I believe is one of the symptoms of integrating many foreign elements and foreigners into a micronation, you end up with a pile of mediocre shit or a winter revolution and rigged elections left right and centre.

So please Reinhardt run for president and save your creation, deep down I know you want to, and it is possible to juggle both full time uni and politics and micronationalism.

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King works on new constitution

Tyrshavn, Denton Canton.

After having lunch with Prime Minister Sir Pingu Pikaviksson (Moderate) this afternoon where Their Majesty sought input from their chief advisor on reforming the Zealandian constitution to fit the King’s process of streaming governance and Zealandia’s political structures.

King Haakon at their desk

King Haakon at their desk

Sir Pingu added suggestions including fixing the very first chapter of the constitution to centralise the cantons as subordinate to Olof Palmesgatan in Tyrshavn.

This move comes as King Haakon has been making moves towards what some have called a dictatorship and what Haakon has described in a previous article as one person rule, which the monarch argued was important for the survival of a nation.

Sources close to the monarch have said that after the lunch Haakon hurried back to Olof Palmesgatan 1, where they have yet to leave.  The sources also allege that Haakon will be strengthening the anti fascist provisions within the Zealandian constitution and removing the final pieces of revolutionary socialism that it had contained.

It is also likely that the Chamber of Deputies which is know as the Riksdag in Swedish will either be abolished in its entirety or be reformed into an advisory body, with the same likely to happen to the Federal Council.

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Opinion: Powersharing and Micronationalism, does it work?

Opinion by Their Majesty Håkon, King of Zealandia.

This is a subject to which I have some experience with, as I have over the years attempted various power-sharing or democratic means of governance within Zealandia, as well as observed it occurring in other micronations.

First of all we must also look at the top countries in the microwiki sector (also known as

TM King Haakon

TM King Haakon

the old guard), they are Sirocco, Wyvern, Austenasia, Zealandia, St Charlie and Renasia.

Of these countries we can tell that the first three are doing relatively well, with the fourth on its way back to prosperity, however that cannot be said for the last two.

St Charlie, once the glorious example of how to micronation, now looks pretty much dead, if it where a person it would be on life support in the hospital with the family gathered around.  Once upon a time I had considered requesting to join Zealandia into St Charlie, but now I probably would not integrate it into the Zealandian Federation if it where requested.

Since the current St Charlian government came to power with its powersharing, what has become of that once glorious nation? it has lost its way, the man who ran it with such passion seems to be off somewhere else, leaving the powersharing between the various factions, and what has become of it is little more now than a run in the ground little out fit hardly befitting of the name St Charlie.

The same was happening in Zealandia time and time again when I was sharing power with the Riksdag and a Prime Minister, the country was slowly grinding itself into the ground, lurching from one crisis to the next, with no concrete leadership.  Now that I have using emergency powers, suspended the Riksdag and increased my personal responsibilities within government, the nation’s lifeblood has roared back into life, like a V8 at Bathurst on race day.

If we look at our tory brother across the Tasman, Sirocco we can see what this means in terms of governance and the political survival of our states, Sirocco is ruled by one man, who although stuck in the atomic age has shown the path that needs to be taken if our countries are to survive.  Dr Daniel Anderson, the Siroccan Premier has shown consistently that, yes you can have your citizens and the cultural side of the nation, but to be a successful nation of the size of a micronation, you need to have that strong centralised leadership otherwise the whole shebang goes to shit as demonstrated by St Charlie and Renasia.

If we look outside of the MW sector, we see that countries like Molossia, Atlantium and even Hutt River all have the one thing in common, that is that strong one person rule that enables them to adapt, and ultimately survive.

If we look back at our senior countries, we see; Austenasia is thriving in the early history of Europe, Sandus is doing its socialist-Buddhist thang, Wyvern is delightfully anti European Union, Sirocco is still in 1957 and Zealandia has yet to leave the 80′s IKEA store, yet they all have something in common, that strong centralised leadership and its why they continue to thrive and survive.

 

Their Majesty Haakon, King of Zealandia and Grand Duke of the Zealandians, is the monarch of Zealandia, Editor of the Zealandian Guardian and a Zealandian Government Minister.
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Why am I a micronationalist?

Their Majesty King Håkon of Zealandia

Why am I a micronationalist? and what on earth made me to decide to one day form my own little country?

Those two questions, are what I have been thinking about lately and I have come to the conclusion of why am I am a micronationalist.

There is something very much flawed with many of the current systems in the world, Australia is no exception, things have gone awry and made the whole system a bit daft, micronationalism for me is the chance to not only engage in my love of politics, culture and diplomacy but also to try and create a better system and a tiny little community.

In this task I have learnt quite a lot on various topics including constitutional law, diplomacy and people skills, these I feel also have their uses outside of micronationalism.

I will admit that no I am not very good at this democracy thing, there have been occasions where I have erm tweaked the electoral system a bit, I think going through the banana-kingdom stage of micronational development has proved to be an important learning curve.

It was thanks to micronationalism that I discovered my love of language and international relations, which has led me to what I now study at university.

 

One thing that people often ask is why did I choose a monarchy? to be honest, monarchy seemed the easiest choice of government to implement for someone who had no idea what they where doing, which was certainly me.  Some will note that I am involved with the Australian Republican Movement on campus, and yes it is true that I would like to see Australia, have its own fully fledged resident head of state, but as to the general idea of monarchy? I am rather more relaxed towards it, sure I like a bit of pomp and ceremony and what have you, but I am no fan of the born to rule idea, nor the massive amounts of wealth displayed by most monarchs or indeed the idea that they by birth are some how better than everyone else.  The Zealandian monarchy is not at all like that, it shuns the ways of traditional monarchies and does not see itself as better than than other Zealandians.

Personally I see micronationalism as part political statement, part experiment, part cultural endeavour, part art and part performance and of course very enjoyable.

 

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